By Paul Howard
So there i used to be, roysh, type legend, colleges rugby legend, primarily all-round legend, while a person comes to a decision you can't, like, sit down the Leaving Cert 4 occasions. good that positioned a focking spanner within the works.
But becoming a member of the goys at school wasn't the mare i presumed it'd be, essentially for, like, 3 significant purposes: beer, ladies and extra girls. And for as soon as I accept as true with Fionn concerning the, like, schooling chances. I suggest, the place else are you able to know about pass judgement on Judy, laminating pretend IDs and, like, easy methods to order a Ken and snog a lady on the comparable time?
I should be attractive, roysh, yet I'm no longer silly and this a lot I absolutely recognize: university focking rocks.
Paul Howard is helping Ross O'Carroll-Kelly to put in writing his autobiographical sequence, now such as 4 titles, principally simply because Ross can't quite write, roysh? discover extra at http://www.obrien.ie/ross.
He is usually the writer of the bestselling felony reveal, the enjoyment, and co-author of Celtic Warrior, the autobiography of boxer Steve Collins.
A former activities Journalist of the 12 months, Paul lined the area Cup in Japan and Korea in 2002, and the rugby international Cup in Australia in 2003, for the newspaper. His account of the Irish football squad, The Gaffers, Mick McCarthy, Roy Keane and the staff they equipped, used to be a bestseller in autumn 2002.
The funniest e-book of the year.
I don't regard the musings of O'Carroll-Kelly as being basically humourous. I regard them as immediately reportage, journalism of a truly excessive order, which holds up a replicate to a life-style, a complete breed of men...
Declan Lynch, Sunday Independent
'Whether you're keen on him or hate him, The Teenage Dirtbag Years may have you coming again for more.'
Erica Walsh, Trinity News
‘In The Teenage Dirtbag Years our dim rugger-bugger anti-hero explores third-level schooling. This lad makes Beavis and Butthead appear like Harvard graduates.’
Ferdia MacAnna, Sunday Independent
'Howard is the writer of a high-quality account of existence in Mountjoy and is the comedian voice for the subsequent decade.'
Eoghan Corry, Andersonstown information
Read or Download The Teenage Dirtbag Years PDF
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Additional info for The Teenage Dirtbag Years
I knew it went against all of the moral issues I had growing up. My mom hated tattoos, and the fact that it was a symbol outside Catholicism would make her hit the rosary even harder than when I got a hickey. I looked at the drunk guy and smiled. “Together we are one”—how cool is that, I kept thinking. As blood dripped down my lower back I became woozy. I never had gotten that slice of pizza to soak up the booze, and the evidence of that projected out of my mouth all over the floor. This didn’t seem to shock anyone.
Pretty much all the baby boomers were divorced, so I thought her odds were pretty great. ” To give you a little backstory, my mom worked as a janitor in a courthouse. Yes, a janitor. She cleaned up jail cells and bathrooms and actually enjoyed her job. That’s just how living saints roll, I guess. Apparently she’d been cleaning a courtroom the day before, and a lawyer came back because he forgot his briefcase. She looked up, and it was Tom. They both stared at each other in silence for a second.
She said he looked exactly the same, except he was bald. She said they talked about how long it had been and compared notes on their families. Then my mom dropped the “I’m divorced” card, just to see what he would say. ” DING DING DING! I said, “Mom, it’s meant to be. This is the love of your life! ” I begged her to at least go to dinner. ” She laughed, and I was able to hear in her voice an excitement I hadn’t heard in years. Mom and Tom were married in April 2000 and are still going strong. They talk about “doing it,” and it completely grosses me out.
The Teenage Dirtbag Years by Paul Howard